Pink Stinks

I know Mother always said if you don’t have anything nice to say, “Keep Your Trap SHUT!”  I just can’t.  Over the weekend in Las Vegas, I ate, or should say, I picked at the worst hot dog known to mankind. Oh, it looked good, in fact look at the pictures, almost mouthwatering aren’t they?? The bad thing is one bite of these Hot Pink pigs and the only water in your mouth will be that spray from the inside of your cheeks,  that sure sign you’re seconds away from vomiting and better get to a toilet, STAT.

Why, you might ask did I venture to the land of  ground up grossness?  Well, like a virgin, I fell for the celebrity of the thing.  Yep some big names had put a seal of approval on Hot Pinks.  Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner’s old girlfriend, one of the Kardashian’s….does it really matter which one, and Miss America were all shown at the opening wrapping their mouths around a Hot Pink one.  Now I shudder to think, did they enjoy it?  Maybe they did.  Celebrities are a different breed and maybe this stuff -which I’m sure isn’t on any of their normal diets- is so forbidden it tasted like fruit to them.  (I’m  sure it couldn’t have tasted like meat.)   There’s a slim chance they sincerely believe this is good stuff and thus put their name on a dog.  I, however, am going to believe each and everyone was handsomely reimbursed for their endorsement.

The even scarier thing is I look up Hot Pink’s online and the Hollywood version has every famous face on earth lapping up the dogs, and they’ve been in business 70 years!    I pray that something went very wrong in Las Vegas because my Kansas tastebuds can’t be that wrong!

Well, here’s where Momma would be proud, I do have one good thing to say, I learned a valuable lesson in marketing.  Yep, endorsements do work!  But here’s the thing Hot Pink’s, and all you Hot Women they paid to coax us in there, it only works once!   If you’re venturing to Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas soon, and see Hot Pink’s Hot Dogs, peek inside to see if any celebrities are there then ………..RRRRUUUUNNNNNNNN the other way.