What The Hell-o Am I Doing?

It’s the question I most want to vomit over whenever I am asked these days, and that would be often.  Even without makeup, typically with three day old hair and glasses…. if I open my mouth to speak, someone will recognize the voice and then peg me as “Anita Cochran”……the NEWS LADY!   “So what ARE you doing now?”  is the question that inevitably follows.  The answer is easy yet complicated.  To-the-point yet evasive.  Honest yet not really truthful.    That answer is, “Whatever I want.”

My good friends have heard me speak about all the changes that would be coming into my life for more than a year now.  It happened in Paris in April 2008, when my entire life seemed to make sense, but not in its current form.  I’ll never forget the moment I heard the answer that really described the life I wanted.  I was at the Louvre with my first true friend, Pamela when low and behold the woman in line in front of us mentioned she used to live in Derby.  Yes, Derby, Kansas.  She had moved to Paris for her husband’s job and when I asked what she did, she answered, “Whatever I want.”

She had already raised her children and she said now it’s my turn.  She visited the Louve almost every day and was taking French, she was living a dream.  While my dream isn’t shaping up quite like hers it’s starting to form.  Remember, I am after all firmly planted in Wichita.  Yes, Wichita, Kansas. (Then again, NOTHING is forever.)

My two kids aren’t grown, so this is OUR time.  Much of what I do these days has to do with what they need/want me to do with them.   For the first time ever, I’m helping in Tanza’s classroom. I helped Lexy’s teachers back when she was in Kindergarten, yet never did the same for Tanza.  Truth-be-told I never had the “classroom” helper itch.  I remember why now.  I felt really out of place teaching kids about weights and grams and paper clips and Hershey kisses last week, but you know what?  I did it, and they all got the lesson they were supposed to receive!    The strange thing is now that I’m a “teacher” it makes me wonder what else I can do.

Some of you know I’m working on a tv project.  My New Life, could be a really entertaining locally produced show but there’s a lot still to be done to get it into production.  For now we’re doing webcasts/talk shows online and that takes up some time.  (Mostly in the drive time….. I now HATE driving downtown or across town.  Amazing when I was in TV, I made the trip at least four times a day, now I pout when I have to make one!)

I’m thinking about a part-time retail gig for the Holidays.  A good friend has asked me to work with her and since I toy with the idea of opening a shop someday I think I may see if I’m cut out for that.  That’s what’s really surprising about My Own New Life.  I sort of want to try everything.  I’m finding  however, I have the attention span of a three-year-old!  I have discovered I am very easily bored, so at this stage in my life I’m also cutting my losses.    The daily online radio spots were fun, but frankly, too demanding for the money.  I’m volunteering at Center Of  Hope.  I serve as a Board Member there, and while I LOVE trying to prevent homelessness, I’m not sure I’m meant to volunteer on the frontlines either.  (I’ll let you know after I get the okay to answer phones on my own later this month.)   While that is some of what I am doing, mostly what I do when I get up each morning, is whatever my family needs, whatever I HAVE to do for the commitments I’ve made, and then with whatever time is left, “WHATEVER I WANT.”    It is the BEST answer I’ve ever heard, and so far it’s the best way of life I have ever lived.