Son of a BEACH

So we made a quick trip to Los Angeles and there’s one thing I can’t get out of my head. Okay, there’s more than one, but this one really bugs me. We’re walking along Santa Monica Beach on a gorgeous night and people are everywhere. It really was sort of magical, except for the smell…and the trash.

I managed to get my picture perfect photos of the girls and the sunset and the pier, but I snapped this one too.

We ought to be ashamed.  I know I was.

Maybe it’s the Indian blood in me, (Cherokee and Potawatomi) but I couldn’t believe the same people who were out here enjoying the beach’s natural beauty were also careless enough to leave their crap on it on their way out.  Maybe a whole new generation needs to see my all time favorite commercial.  The one of the Indian shedding a single tear over the littering of his native land.  I probably need a spanking I should have picked it up but the smell was gagging me……..so while Santa Monica was lovely look at and delightful to phtograph, the smell left me hankering for my homeland.  Flat, hot, dry and smell free Kansas (Unless you’re in Southwest Kansas XXOO to my friends out there!)

Open letter to Lexy

I am thinking about a letter to my 13-year old. Anyone want to read it? and will she hate me?

Swimsuit Strategy

I am a freakin’ genius.  Summer just officially started and I’ve finally figured out how to hit the pool in a bikini and rest assured no one is staring at my boobs that are too big, or my cellulite that is too obvious.  Here’s the great part, should you have those problems…..YOU can do it too.

It’s called distraction.  I hopped in the tub to do the shave thing, (Blonde hair glistens in the sun and though it reminds me of diamonds, I’m pretty sure it doesn’t turn anyone else on!) and noticed that I finally had something to offer a  horrified crowd BESIDES my 46-year old carcass…..take a look.

No I’m not looking for compliments here, though I have always heard my chicken legs were one of my best assets (I think Stephanie Bergmann was the first to tell me they were chicken legs!!)  look a little closer at my incredible COLOR.  I mean colors, and I’m not referring to the tan. That whomping bruise happened a few days ago, but just appeared TODAY.  The one day I have pool time.   I have been complaining about the pain of the damn thing for days, but every one looked at me like I was pathetic because it wasn’t very impressive, until now.  So how did I do this?   I slipped in the bathtub.      Really, I had one leg in and one leg out and BOOOM smashed the side of my leg into the tile edge…..I cried inside then whined to all my friends how I couldn’t even put my legs together (please refrain from commenting)….I mean at night I couldn’t lay on my side because it would press on my hemmorhage.

So today, as I hit the pool with my friend Jennifer Sebits (KSN fans would remember her as Reporter Jennifer Pruitt, now a stay-at-home mom) and her kids I’m gonna flash that bruise like a badge of honor, knowing fully well I have all of about 10 seconds to lay my fat fanny down before the gaze shifts to my other “areas”.    But I’m not worried, I can do a lot in 10 seconds and WAIT, I just found I have something else to offer if you’re into scabs….apparently I was shaving with an old razor.  Okay, I guess genius was stretching it.

Facebook Freak

Hi I’m Anita, and I’m a facebook freak.  (This is where you say, “Hi Anita”…..at least I’ve heard that’s how it’s done.)  Anyway….if you visited me over there you might have noticed these days I’m often at my 5,000 friend limit.  (FINALLY!!)  I’d like to say “I’m NOT proud of it, it just HAPPENED,” but, I’m PROUD of it.  I LOVE that I have 5,000 friends or at least NAMES that when it comes down to parting with some of them, well….I just can’t do it.  I mean a lot of these people are former KSN fans, twitter friends, and while some of us have never met or even really corresponded, we’ve seen each others names now for a year or two, so it feels like I know even THOSE people.  The word “Friend” sort of needs a new definition.

So, I have a waiting list of people who want to be  ”friends”  and some of them I really already KNOW.  They are my friends…..I just don’t have room for them on facebook.  Here’s where it gets tricky.  Because of the dumb rule that one can only have 5,000 friends, I am having to drop people so I can add new ones.  One strategy that works well is to talk about me.  Two dudes got really pissed when I did that the other day and they dropped me, the comment was….”Man all you ever write about is YOU.”   (My response….”SEE YA” )  I got to add two more people who actually wanted to read what I had to say about myself, and not to be vain, but isn’t that what a personal facebook page is about??  The person I mean.  Trust me, whenever I look at YOUR facebook page, I expect to read about YOU!!

So anway, back to the list.  I’m trying like hell-o to get a couple of my OLLLLLDDDD friends on and I let people drop me, then add a few new ones every day, but it’s not happening fast enough.  Enter the Anita Cochran/ Public Figure facebook page.  I made up this new page where ANYONE can “Like” it and thus be a “Liker”, I guess that’s almost as good as  a friend.  This though allows all LIKERS to join in which I’m all for.  Now all I have to do is figure out how to make both pages ALL ABOUT ME, and man I won’t have any friends, any likers, and I’ll have a heck of a lot more free time.   Then again if I could figure out how to hack into my own Facebook Public Figure page I could change Like to Lick.  I just want to see if anyone would admit they want to LICK me   See I am a FREAK.

Pink Stinks

I know Mother always said if you don’t have anything nice to say, “Keep Your Trap SHUT!”  I just can’t.  Over the weekend in Las Vegas, I ate, or should say, I picked at the worst hot dog known to mankind. Oh, it looked good, in fact look at the pictures, almost mouthwatering aren’t they?? The bad thing is one bite of these Hot Pink pigs and the only water in your mouth will be that spray from the inside of your cheeks,  that sure sign you’re seconds away from vomiting and better get to a toilet, STAT.

Why, you might ask did I venture to the land of  ground up grossness?  Well, like a virgin, I fell for the celebrity of the thing.  Yep some big names had put a seal of approval on Hot Pinks.  Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner’s old girlfriend, one of the Kardashian’s….does it really matter which one, and Miss America were all shown at the opening wrapping their mouths around a Hot Pink one.  Now I shudder to think, did they enjoy it?  Maybe they did.  Celebrities are a different breed and maybe this stuff -which I’m sure isn’t on any of their normal diets- is so forbidden it tasted like fruit to them.  (I’m  sure it couldn’t have tasted like meat.)   There’s a slim chance they sincerely believe this is good stuff and thus put their name on a dog.  I, however, am going to believe each and everyone was handsomely reimbursed for their endorsement.

The even scarier thing is I look up Hot Pink’s online and the Hollywood version has every famous face on earth lapping up the dogs, and they’ve been in business 70 years!    I pray that something went very wrong in Las Vegas because my Kansas tastebuds can’t be that wrong!

Well, here’s where Momma would be proud, I do have one good thing to say, I learned a valuable lesson in marketing.  Yep, endorsements do work!  But here’s the thing Hot Pink’s, and all you Hot Women they paid to coax us in there, it only works once!   If you’re venturing to Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas soon, and see Hot Pink’s Hot Dogs, peek inside to see if any celebrities are there then ………..RRRRUUUUNNNNNNNN the other way.

Lazy days of Fall

Just gonna step in to the confessional and say, Sorry, but I’ve been LAZY.   Few of you have really noticed that I’ve neglected the ole anitacochran.tv blog stuff, and I thought well, if no one misses me, maybe I’ll just continue my silence.  However, thinking how much crap I need to fill you in on just wanted to warn you, tomorrow, I plan to sit with a big ole cup of chai, and just chat.  See ya then. XXOO

My New Office

I am loving my new life, including working out of my new Barbie home office.  I say Barbie house, because this house is cute and stylish, but perfectly proportioned (I mean it’s not the kind of house you say, “Can I give you a TOUR?”  I’m learning though, I like things small, and not just my BUTT.

Mostly these days besides shooting webisodes for “My New Life” and trying to get that into production to air on TV, I’m busy blogging or supposed to be busy blogging.  It’s a little hard to get motivated when there is laundry to do, and dinner to make, and Kent to play with (when he’s working at home too) and Starbucks to be had (Melissa and I went twice the last few days.)  You get my drift.  More than anything I just want to enjoy my time, and for the first time in my life, I’m so at peace, so if something doesn’t get done, what are you gonna do??  Not pay me.  Exactly, so if I’m not getting paid, I’m taking care of my family and everything else can take care of itself.

Thought I’d share some pix of the new office, here’s what I see when I’m writing at my desk….yep,I’m looking out the window, like that won’t be a DISTRACTION!   Worse yet, I’m at the end of the street that the model homes are on, so I watch people come and go all day.   Plus I spy on Trent, the guy who helped us design our house and who has become a good friend.  I always hope he comes down and plays the piano and sings for me, but he’s usually working (in case his boss ever reads this!!)

On my right, is Kent’s work station.  It closes all up and looks almost neat except for all the crap I’m storing on the top.  That nice comfy couch is where Hershey naps, and I sometimes sit and write because it beats sitting up like a working stiff in a big girl chair.

My work station is also an armoire that closes up, but it’s almost always down because I’m just that kind of girl.  I took a funky picture of me sitting in front of it, and used my MacBook Pro and photobooth to make it really weird looking.  Thought that might be best so that I don’t reveal any company secrets.  Oh wait, I don’t work for a company.  Too late.  The funky effect stays.

I have yet to get this room accessorized.  I just haven’t felt the need to

put a lot of “stuff” around.  I’m waiting for inspiration to doll it all up.  By that time, the Barbie House really will be picture perfect.  I’ll let you know if I ever get there.

We’re a bit RATTLED!

The Labor Day weekend ended with a BITE for our family.  Most of us were at Grand Lake enjoying the last blast of summer when we got a call that our farmer-in-law, Doug Wewe had stepped on a snake.    Not just any snake, within minutes the bottom of his foot where the snake decided to bite him started stinging and swelling….to cut to the chase, we’re dealing with a Rattlesnake.

Doug spent the night at Wesley’s ICU receiving the anti-venom, and Shasta and I high-tailed it back to Wichita to make sure he would live (like we would be able to do anything, but this family doesn’t handle crisis well unless we’re on scene!)   The ending of the story should be good, eight hours into it, he was feeling a little less pain (Yeah Drugs), and the swelling had stopped so anti-venom must have been working.  The details we really want to know though, how did this happen, are pretty interesting.

Doug spent the day farming, that’s why he got left behind in the first place, took a shower and heard fireworks at Cheney Lake.  My sister Shasta, Doug and their four kids live about a mile from the lake, so curious Doug decided to stop out on their front porch and watch the show.  When he stepped into the grass, he apparently stepped on the little snake and the snake didn’t like it.   The picture of the snake posted on my website is a little misleading, I thought it was a monster, but it’s only about as thick as your finger and maybe two feet long, so it actually was quite small.  Didn’t matter, little snakes can pack lots of venom.

Here’s a note to all of us, whenever you’re bit by a snake, take the snake with you (in my mind preferably DEAD like Doug did) to the hospital.  It helped ER people identify and get the proper treatment.  Later today, the Fish and Game folks will check out the little bugger too, so it’s going to come in handy to have the remains, though I have to say it grossed me out.  I can’t even look at the picture while I write this.  In my life, my biggest fear has always been snakes.  Now I know WHY, and that all along, I was RIGHT.  Love you Doug, glad you’re big and strong and adapt well to Anti-Venom.  My guess is the next Rattlesnake Hunt will be held at the Wewe House!!

I’m Not Ready

It was a busy weekend of packing up my families belongings prepping for the big move to our little house in a week. I started out with grand visions of tossing almost everything away, and needing but a little tiny pickup truck to move our beds. Ok, I lie. I never expected to toss that much stuff, but I’m keeping more than I wanted.
Here’s an example. I have a huge plastic bin full of pictures, and that doesn’t count pictures that I have put into scrap books, etc….these are just sacks full of old pictures from when I was a kid, or whatever, and frankly, I didn’t even have the strength to go through them. That’s gonna take a large amount of booze and a good chunk of time to tackle, and this was not the weekend to do it.
The keepsakes from my TV days were hilarious, but I trashed them all. I had an e-mail from my old co-anchor Bob Donley, that outlined everything he’d change about the KSN newsroom. Apparently someone must have read that memo, but instead of making those changes, changed him instead. It was a good read, but it’s behind me so I tossed it.
I found a diary of when I was in high school and Dale Haukup asked me to Prom. I’m keeping that for further reading, to see what other school girl crushes I can uncover.
The toughest part of all of it though was the bags of letters and cards I got when my Mom died. I planned on tossing them all, except the one from Leon Liebl, which I will keep forever, it’s the only time he told me he loved me, and I plan to blackmail him with it later. Anyway, as I unzipped one bag of cards, out fell pictures of every bouquet sent to my family during the funeral. I couldn’t part with it, so nine years later, I’m keeping all those pictures of the flowers and every card I received. It wasn’t so much that it connected me to the people who sent them, I think it’s that it connected me to the Mom I still miss so much, and if that’s all I have left of her, than it least it’s something, and nine years later, I’m not ready to let it go, and you know I don’t know if I ever will be. I’m Anita Cochran, and that’s what I really wanted to say.

 

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Hmmmm

I always wondered what’s a quickpress. Now we know.